3 Perfect Questions That Will Have You Asking Yourself Are They The Right One For Me?
First dates are much more than two strangers meeting, they are also the possibility of “What If?”. Complete with emotional highs and lows, anticipation, excitement and hope and that’s before the dates even started! You want to make a good impression but, how do you get to know someone without the job interview vibe?
Questions can influence how a person sees you, inspire possibility and even increase attraction. Asking the right questions during the dating process is a powerful tool that can take the conversation from surface to deeper levels of real emotional connection.
I have 3 questions that I encourage a client to ask (from a place of curiosity, over a checklist) on a first date:
What are you looking for in a relationship?
A lot of people feel too shy to ask this question as if somehow they are going to chase away the person. In reality it’s the opposite! If you’re dating to find a partner and have a family within a few years it’s the perfect question. Are they interested in settling down if they found the right person or just looking to explore and have fun for now?
Whatever it is, most people have relationship goals that they’re happy to share and from there you can either sort them in or out. Beware of the man who doesn’t want to share or simply says “I don’t know”, this is a sign that he is either immature or interested in something other than being in a serious relationship.
What kind of person are you looking for?
Who is your best fit? Are they looking for someone adventurous, who values freedom or someone that is nurturing, kind and passionate about community and family? Posing this question during a date not only ignites feelings of emotional connection but will serve to enlighten if you share similar core values and lifestyle.
This is probably my favorite question to ask, not only for first dates but in any conversation. Asking about hopes, dreams and goals is important but just as important is to follow up with the “Why” of it. Getting to the heart of why someone does something, gives you much better insight into who they are as a person and what motivates them over simply asking what is.
Again, this also serves to make an emotional connection with your date, which is essential to establish in the early stages of dating. You can have physical chemistry with someone, but it’s the emotional connection you make that’s the glue holding it all together.
It’s also equally important to ask yourself …
What are your views of relationships?
What are your goals—not just in love, but in life?
Do you know what you want and what will make you happy? (I’m surprised at just how many people I meet that have never taken the time to consider this for themselves.)
Do you want a family or to travel the world with your lover?
What do you value in a partner? Confidence, adventure, kindness?
Start by asking these questions to yourself. Knowing who you are and what you want is essential to finding the right person.
Your Next Step
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Originally posted at Your Tango…