Your Core Values Checklist for Love – What Do you Really Want?
One of the first steps to attracting that perfect mate into your life is getting clear and knowing what you want, what you really want. Many people feel like love is just going to happen to them one day and end up falling into random relationships becoming involved with people that may seem right at first but end up completely wrong.
Would you go into a shoe store and ask for any shoe size or style? Would you go into Starbucks and ask for whatever they feel like making? In order to get what you want in life, you have to know what will make you happy. You can’t make a decaff, non-foam latte into your perfect, double shot, mocha with whip.
This is where the idea of creating a checklist for love comes in. The list isn’t to manifest someone into your life from out of the blue, but is intended to focus you on prioritizing your core values as to what will be the best fit for you in a relationship. Reading this list centers you and helps you to visualize what it would be like to be with your ideal partner, and recognize him or her when they enter your life.
Your list should be based on the qualities that you are looking for in a partner and worded in a positive, affirming way. Before you begin, think about what you most would love to have in a partner and how you would feel when you are with them. What are your core values, wants, needs and passions?
If you need help getting started, think of what’s important to you, qualities you consider desirable and what you most enjoy doing. If traveling and exploring the unknown is important to you, a quality you might put down is “adventurous”. If you want to start a family you might have “family oriented”. Other core values may include Generosity, Kindness, Flexibility, Agreeable, Independence, Optimism, Respect, Unconventionality, Trustworthy, etc.
You can also look to past relationships. Was there a partner that didn’t meet a certain need or expectation that was important to you? Write it down but with a positive spin, as any type of repeated negativity will only block you from true happiness. For example “I don’t want someone who isn’t supportive of me” instead write “Supportive of my personal and professional goals”. Or likewise if you appreciated something that a former partner did to make you feel special include that.
Keep anything physical or materialistic off the list, this is about the inner qualities, values and passions that are going to make you happy and be the most compatible. Being to focused on external qualities will make you picky and prevent you from seeing a person’s true potential. After your list is completed, edit it to the bare minimum must haves, ideally no more than 8 items.
This is extremely helpful when dating multiple people, as many of us tend to date the potential of the person rather than who they actually are at this moment. After your date you can read your list and see if this person has the qualities you are looking for, is this the person you want or are they the fantasy of potential? People are “As Is” having this list will give you a reality check and there will be no confusion as to whom gives you that special double shot, mocha with whip feeling.
Ready to get serious about finding love?
If you need help defining your Core Values, drop me an email and I will send you worksheet that you can use. Join me for a free One on One 20 minute coaching session, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org or 778-848-7021.