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Ask A Dating Coach – Why Am I In The Friend zone?

Why Am I In The Friend zone?

“I never seem to have a problem getting dates, but when it comes to taking the relationship to another level, it always seems to be the same story with the women I meet. That I’m a great guy, but the attraction isn’t there and can we be friends? I consider myself a nice and respectful guy, why am I always stuck in the friend zone?– Nathan”

Thank you for writing, this is a question that I get all the time from both men and women. I think that many of us can relate to being stuck in the “friend zone” at one point in our dating lives.

Without knowing the particulars of your dates, it’s difficult to pinpoint what the exact reasons may be, it could be one thing or a combination of a few. I can tell you that that one of the most common reasons that men end up in the friend zone is because they aren’t exhibiting the Alpha Male qualities that women are attracted to. You describe yourself as a “nice and respectful guy”, sometimes the problem is that you are too nice a guy and women start to see you as nothing more than a friend. Women are most attracted to an “Alpha Male” take charge personality.

Now, that doesn’t mean that you still can’t be nice and respectful, because women certainly do appreciate that. But they are looking for the guy that’s a leader and going to bring the masculine energy. This is shown through confidence, but not with any cockiness or aggression. This means that you take the lead in planning the date and while you are on the date. Cultivate your confidence as much as you can as this is the number one trait that women are attracted to.

If you happen to be female and having the friend zone problem it’s typically the opposite to the males issue. Usually they are bringing to much masculine energy to the table and benefit from softening up a little and cultivating a confident but feminine energy on their dates. Letting the guy take the lead on the date instead of competing for the lead. This doesn’t mean that you are a push over, just a little softer, flirtier and in receiving mode.

Learning to exhibit your confidence could take a bit of practice. If you need a place to start on your own I suggest reading the book, No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover or if you want to really get to the root of the issues you are having, you can contact me for One on One Coaching. Let me know how it works out for you.

Ready to get serious about finding love?

If you want to find out more on how to find love that lasts, I want to hear from you! Contact Deanna at info@dateworks.ca

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