Have you been online dating with no results? Wondering why you aren’t getting any messages or replies? Writing about yourself isn’t easy and writing for the competitive world of online dating only makes it harder. But with the right advice and a few key tweaks, you can stand out from the thousands of other guys out there. Here are the 5 Big Mistakes (that even smart men make) on their online dating profile and how to fix them.
1. Having A Username That’s Turn Off
Your username is the first impression you make on a woman and should reflect who you are. Avoid anything that makes you sound like a player (LoverBoy694U), mama’s boy / immature (LittleBoyBlue), generic (NiceGuy21), desperate (IsIt2Late) or lacking in anyway.
Coming up with a catchy username takes time, but in the end well worth the effort. Start by brainstorming key words and then put them together in an interesting and unique way.
Think of hobbies, sports you play, movies (SayAnything) or a great song (InYourEyes) or even a favorite travel destination. If you’re at a complete loss you can always try experimenting with a user name generator.
2. Over Selling Yourself
Stay away from a resume list of accomplishments that only tell who you are, instead of show. Talk about your favorite travel experiences, hobbies you enjoy, etc. and include the “why”. Writing about why something lights you up or your motivation to do a certain activity, is what will make you stand out and connect with the reader.
Another common offender when overselling, is describing your looks, in particular, as handsome. Maybe you are or maybe your aren’t. When you make that kind of statement, you not only come across as self-absorbed, but are asking to be judged on your attractiveness in general.
When you think about it this way, would you walk up to a woman in a bar and say “Hi, I’m handsome”? Probably not! Have great pictures and let them do the talking for you.
3. Having Unattractive Photos
Good photos are the number one most important thing you need to attract the woman you want. Stay away from selfies – shirtless selfies, bathroom selfies, selfies where you’re in your car and we can see up your nose.
In other words ALL selfies. Besides being unflattering, no one wants to see your messy bedroom or toilet reflected in a dirty mirror. Sounds harsh I know but its important to put your best foot forward as much as possible if you want to attract a high quality woman. Just like you, women want to see you at your best – as natural and casual as possible.
Have a friend snap a few shots in different outfits, use a stand and timer or hire a photographer. Aim for a minimum of 3 pictures (5 is best) -1 close up, 1 full body and 1 of you doing an activity or hobby you enjoy.
Activity pictures are great conversation starters. If you’re really keen on showing off your body sans shirt, go for a picture in a relevant setting for example at the beach – much more flattering.
4. Being Negative
Saying negative things like “Looking For A Sane Woman” or “Drama Free” along with a list of what you don’t want, are HUGE red flags to most women. There’s only one common dominator here and that’s you. Not only does it sound like you aren’t over your last relationship, but it also implies that drama is typical of your relationships, and that maybe you don’t even like women that much.
Most men I know are looking for a confident woman, this type of woman won’t be attracted to a guy that doesn’t seem to be over his ex or makes generalizations about how crazy women are. It’s ok if you’ve had a bad experience just don’t bring baggage to your profile and save the details for when you actually get to know someone.
5. Poor Spelling, Grammar or Using Abbreviations
Sometimes when I’m reading over a profile, it’s like the guy was so happy to be done that he posts it and never reads or checks it over at all. Always keep in mind that this is your first impression.
The women reading your profile don’t know anything about you other than what you’re showing them. Having a profile riddled with errors and abbreviations like “lookin 4 U” comes across as lazy and immature.
Not everyone is a great writer and that’s ok as long as your making the effort. A good rule of thumb is to stay away from abbreviations, use your spell and grammar checker and then have a friend, preferably a woman, or an online dating professional, read it over and give you feedback.
There is a learning curve to modern dating. Once you understand it, you can avoid the simple mistakes that most men make on their online dating profile and attract the woman you want!
**YOUR NEXT STEP**
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