10 Green Flags To Look For In A Guy On The First Date
Navigating first dates can be tricky, so being able to spot the right signs early on can make all the difference. While it can feel easier to focus on avoiding red flags, what about the green ones? Knowing what positive traits to look for can help you identify a great guy from the start.
Today I’m sharing with you the biggest green flags to look for, but before we dive in there are some dating tips to keep in mind.
First, when you’re on your date and looking for these signs it isn’t about having an agenda. Or making sure that you’re getting though a checklist. Because, if you do that with a guy, then your energy will be off. Resulting in you being the person that’s show signs of having red flags. Which is a first impression that you definitely don’t want to make.
Think of your first date as all about having fun, being authentic, present and connecting with this new guy. Seeing if you feel safe, seen, heard and valued.
If you have shared goals, values, common interests and connection that makes you want to see them again. Along with taking note of the green flags and of course if there are any red flags too. This balance is key if you’re dating to find the right long-term partner.
10 First Date Green Flags
1. He’s Self-Aware & Emotionally Intelligent
On a first date, a guy who demonstrates self-awareness and emotional intelligence is a good sign. Pay attention to how he talks about his past experiences and relationships. Does he reflect on what he’s learned from them? Can he acknowledge his flaws without being overly self-critical? Do his actions match his words?
Emotionally intelligent men are responsible, communicative, decisive, respectful and have a greater vision for their life. He’s thoughtful, has integrity and his actions match his words. And he is most definitely relationship material.
2. He’s A Good Listener
Notice if he’s genuinely engaged when you speak. Does he maintain eye contact, lean in or nod in agreement? Does he ask thoughtful follow-up questions that take the conversation deeper? Or is he just waiting for his turn to talk?
A guy that’s really interested in getting to know you better, will make you feel heard and valued. He’ll show you that he’s interested in more than just his own narrative.
3. He’s Kind To Everyone & Speaks Well Of Others
Kindness is a universal green flag. How he treats others can tell you a lot about his character. Is he polite to the server and respectful to strangers? Does he speak kindly about his exes, women in general, friends and family? These actions reflect his true nature.
This is not being nice to get something but being kind because that’s who he is at his core. If he’s considerate and positive about others. Then it’s likely he’ll treat you with the same respect and kindness as your relationship develops.
4. He Shows Genuine Interest In You
Is he interested in getting to know who you are and more about your life? A guy who’s genuinely interested in you will go beyond surface-level questions. He’ll want to know about your passions and aspirations. He’ll be curious about your opinions and experiences.
One thing to note is sometimes guys get really nervous on a first date and can talk too much about themselves trying to impress you. If this is happening and before you consider this a red flag try the following tip.
Simply jump in and say “Wow I’m getting to know a lot about you. What questions do you have for me?” “Or what would you like to know about me?”. Then watch what he does. Does he ask questions and focus on you more, or does he steer it back to himself again.
5. Positive Body Language & Connected Conversation
Is he making consistent eye contact, leaning in when you speak, and smiling often? Positive body language combined with deeper conversation is a great sign. That he’s present, in the moment and genuinely enjoying your company.
6. You Have Shared Values, Goals And Mutual Interests
Pay attention to whether your core beliefs align. Do you both prioritize similar things in life, like family, career, or personal growth? Are your long-term lifestyle goals compatible? What about at least 2-3 hobbies or mutual interests?
While it can be good for a couple to have different hobbies. Having at least a few common interests can make your time together more enjoyable and meaningful. If you find yourselves discussing shared passions it’s a promising sign that you’re on the same wavelength.
7. He Has A Positive Attitude and A Good Sense Of Humor
A positive attitude and a great sense of humor can not only make a first date enjoyable but life more fun. Notice if he can laugh with you and lighten the mood in awkward moments. Does he have the ability to not take everything too seriously and enjoy life? Without resorting to negativity or sarcasm?
A guy who can be open minded, laugh and see the positive side of things is a good indicator of things to come. That he can likely roll with the punches. That he’s someone who can make life’s little ups and downs overall more relaxed and joyful.
8. He Is Open And Honest About Who He Is & What He’s Looking For
Openness, honesty and transparency is key in any budding relationship. Pay attention to how open and honest he is about himself and what he’s looking for. Does he open up without holding back or embellishing? Is he clear about his intentions? Whether he’s looking for a serious relationship or just seeing where things go?
If he’s willing to be vulnerable and honest from the start, it’s a strong indicator that he values authenticity and connection.
Related – How To Attract An Emotionally Mature Man (For a Relationship)
9. He Respects You And Your Boundaries
Does he respect your personal space and pace of the relationship? If you’re not comfortable with something, does he back off without making you feel guilty? Respect also extends to your opinions and choices. Does he listen without interrupting or belittling your views? A guy who respects you and your boundaries shows that he values you as an individual.
10. You Feel Good Around Him
The best indicator of a green flag is how you feel around him. Pay attention to your emotional and physical responses and trust them. I’m not just talking about chemistry and attraction here.
Do you feel safe, seen, heard and valued? Are you comfortable being your authentic self around him? A good first date should leave you feeling relaxed, happy and excited for the next one.
If you feel at ease and genuinely enjoy his company, that’s a major green flag. A good indicator that there’s potential there to build a deeper connection.
Final Thoughts For You About Dating Green Flags & Chemistry
Contrary to what a lot of people may think, green flags on a first date aren’t all about about feeling instant chemistry or butterflies. While chemistry is great, and you want some chemistry. It can get in the way of finding the right partner if the compatibility factors aren’t there.
Think about all the guys that you’ve had an intense, mind-blowing attraction to very early into meeting them. Where are they now? Did they turn out to be Mr. Right? Chances are the answer is no.
That’s because that feeling of overwhelming attraction on a first date has nothing to do with if a man is interested in having a long term relationship with you. Or if he will actually be a good partner for you.
You need to have the balance of chemistry and compatibility to make things work. Look for a small spark of chemistry that feels like mutual connection. Paired with the green flags and the clear signs of compatibility.
Happy Dating! XO
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