Should you text everyday when dating a guy you like? How much is too much, and how often should a guy text you (if he likes you).
Texting can be exhilarating and confusing at the same time. It’s fun to connect with a love interest at the touch of a button. But there can also be a ton of worries around how to text. What and how often to text.
Like should you text a guy everyday? Is it a good thing to do or can it be too much?
Like it or not, these days texting can be an important part of how a relationship develops. With recent studies showing that couples who have similar texting styles report feeling happier and more fulfilled in their relationships. When compared to couples who don’t share similar habits.
It’s interesting to note that the study focused not on texting frequency, but rather texting styles. In other words, it’s more about being in sync with how you communicate with a partner. Then how often you text each other. (1)
Which makes sense, because at the end of the day don’t we all want to feel seen, heard and understood by our partner?
While this is awesome knowledge, dating wise it can also leave you in a bit of a tough spot. Wondering how to navigate the whole texting thing when you’re just learning the about the other person’s communication patterns.
So in order to clear up some of the confusion, I’m going to answer a few common questions that come up around dating and daily texting for you.
Should You Text Everyday When Dating?
Ideally no, you should not text everyday when dating and here’s why. Texting everyday can actually cause dating burnout and be a barrier to creating authentic lasting connections. Texting when dating, should be for touching base 2-3 times a week in-between dates and logistics. Such as confirming plans for your next date.
While daily texts are fun, texting frequency doesn’t determine the outcome of a relationship. Because in the long run, the texting part isn’t really dating. It’s a communication tool to use in-between your real dates.
If you want a relationship that’s real and lasting, then you want to make sure that you’re getting together in person at least a 2-3 times a week. Because that’s where the magic really is.
Great relationships aren’t created via texting, they grow by spending time together in real life. It’s the stories and experiences you share on those dates. The eye contact, smiles, flirty touches. These are the things that are going to lay the foundation for a strong and lasting relationship.
That said, it’s perfectly ok to text everyday. If it’s becoming a normal part of your pattern as a couple. And each of you are participating in texting each other in a manner that is balanced and reciprocal. And of course seeing each other in real life too!
How Often Should A Guy Text if He Likes You?
Every guy’s texting behaviour is different. Some guys you like will text you 2-3 times a week. Some will bombard you with texts in the beginning then, slow down over time. Some guys aren’t the texting type at all.
How often he texts you is only one part that signals his interest in you. Though you may think that getting daily texts, is a confirmation of sincere interest. It’s not the main indicator of whether or not he likes you. Or his true intentions.
While, him messaging you is a good sign. It’s not he most important thing that you should look for.
Instead focus consistent communication. As well as, if his words match his actions and whether or not he’s moving your relationship forward.
Should I Be Worried If He Doesn’t Text Me Everyday?
In my work, I find many women get triggered when they don’t hear from a guy for a few days. It can bring up fears, and insecurities. Which leave them imagining the worst scenarios possible.
Ultimately, defaulting to thinking that he’s disappeared or not interested any more.
But that simply isn’t true.
Even though you may want him to text you everyday. It doesn’t mean that there’s a problem if you don’t talk everyday.
That said, even if a guy does text you everyday, it doesn’t mean that he’s serious about you either.
There are plenty of men that will text you everyday, but never move the relationship forward.
If you find that you are getting anxious when you don’t hear from him everyday. Then it’s important to work on developing your self-worth, mindset and building confidence.
So that when things don’t go the way you expect, you’re able maintain a sense of peace and resilience. Easily able to keep the situation in perspective. Instead of going into a tailspin over a guy you barely know.
What Does It Mean If A guy Doesn’t Text You All Day?
If you’re curious about why you haven’t heard from him, then ask him. It’s perfectly ok to initiate a conversation around texting styles. Start by sharing what your texting habits are and ask him about his.
Make sure the tone is conversational and curious. Not a demand that he needs to text you more. This is about gaining insight into the person you’re dating. So you can better understand him, not change him.
A man that is emotionally mature, and interested in getting to know you better, will be comfortable having this conversation with you.
A man that is more a player type will most likely hit you up with a bunch of flimsy excuses that don’t seem sincere. It’s important to recognize the difference between the two.
And as long as he is communicating with you, making plans and taking you on dates. Then there’s nothing to worry about.
For more on how to tell if he’s not interested in a relationship with you read my article by clicking here.
Is Texting Everyday Too Much?
Yes, texting every day can be too much. Texting too often in the early stages can quickly lead you to feeling like you’re in a relationship. But the truth is you’re stuck in a “textationship” that’s going no where (2) and you don’t really know him at all.
Ideally texting shouldn’t be your your main source of communication with a guy. Instead, save the daily texts, until you’ve actually spent a significant amount of time on real dates together. And have a real emotional connection with him.
If you can’t meet in person as often as you like, then get on the phone. New research from The University of Texas at Austin suggests that although people often opt to send text messages, a phone call is much more likely to produce the feelings of connectedness that they are craving. (3)
Will A Guy Text You If He’s Interested?
Yes, if he’s got your phone number, then a guy will usually text you if he’s interested. How often though is going to depend on his texting style. As well as, his intent and level of interest.
Keep in mind that yes, while that text to you communicates interest. It’s not an indication of intent. Keep an eye out for red flags. Such as if he’s only texting you at night after 10PM. Or only texts and doesn’t ask you on a real dates, etc.
Is it OK Not To Text A Guy Everyday?
Yes, it’s totally ok not to text a guy everyday. While texting all day long can definitely be fun and exciting. It’s hard to sustain. Which often leads to a relationship fizzling out early.
Another reason why, I highly recommend pacing your texting especially before the relationship is established. Because while those connections can feel great at the time. They are really only surface level. Without a real emotional connection to hold it together, it’s just much easier for things to slowly fade away.
How Often To Text While Dating
While texting everyday can feel great. It’s also ok, even a good thing if you don’t. There are clear advantages to slowing things down and pacing yourself while dating.
Many times, we’re searching for answers to these questions to calm dating anxieties and help us feel safe. But how often a guy that you like texts you doesn’t guarantee that your relationship will be a success. It doesn’t validate your worth. Or determine wether or not you’re loveable either.
If you find yourself worrying about what is going on with the frequency of texting that’s happening between the two of you. Remember to look at the bigger picture. Because texting frequency is not always a factor of his true interest or relationship intent.
At the end of the day texting is just a communication tool. Learn to separate the two.
Let your confidence and self-worth come from within, and use texting for its true purpose.
And above all, put your phone down and nurture your relationship. By connecting with him on real dates, in real life.
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