“He Hasn’t Texted Me In 3 Days!” What It Really Means
Haven’t heard from him for a few days? Is it normal?. Here’s what you need to know and how to handle it when a guy goes quiet and doesn’t text you for days.
At first glance, texting a guy you like seems easy. Just dash off a witty message, add a cute emoji and hit send. And yes sometimes it can feel that easy.
Where the energy is flowing, the texts keep coming and it feels as if every is perfect between you.
Then suddenly the texts stop. A day goes by. Then another and….Before you know it, it’s been a few days since you’ve heard from him. And you find yourself wondering what happened. If it’s normal not to hear from him for 2 or 3 days and what his lack of texting means.
If you’re looking for answers, I got you. I’m sharing with you everything you need to know about why your guy hasn’t texted yet. Plus how to deal with it and what to say to him so it doesn’t happen again.
I’ll also break it down as to what it means for you if you’re the early stages of dating. As well as, if you’ve been together awhile.
Is It Normal For A Guy To Not Text For A Few Days?
Yes, it’s completely normal for a guy to not text for a few days and nothing to be to concerned about. Especially, if you’re in the early stages of dating and aren’t in an official relationship yet. Even if you’ve been together awhile it’s normal too. As there could be many reasons that he hasn’t texted you for 2 or 3 days. He could be busy with a project at work, a personal commitment or an urgent family matter.
Of course it could be that he’s beginning to lose interest, is playing games or dating other people. But if it’s only been a few days it’s just too early to jump to conclusions about what he may or may not be doing.
In addition, before you assume anything, you will need to consider other factors of his behavior. In order to get a bigger picture of what may going with him.
Why Does A Guy Not Text For Days?
If he’s gone quiet and hasn’t texted in a few days here the top 5 reasons why you haven’t heard from him:
1. He’s Genuinely Busy With Work
One of the most common reasons why a guy may not text for a few days is because he’s actually genuinely busy with work. He may be up against a tight deadline or dealing with some other kind of professional commitment.
Yes, he’s probably checked his phone. However men tend to get focused on one thing at a time. They also tend to text more for practical purposes over connection. In this case he’ll most likely text you as soon as he’s able to shift his focus from work obligations to his personal life.
2. He’s Dealing With A Personal Issue
He might not be texting as much because he’s dealing with a personal issue or private family matter. If you’re in the early stages of dating it’s important to keep in mind you don’t really know him yet. There could be any number of different things in his life that could be going on.
Once that’s taken care of he’ll get in touch.
3. He Just Needs Space
Men process the world differently than we do as women. They don’t think, act or communicate the same way we do. Sometimes a guy just needs to take a breather and get some space for a day or two.
For deeper understanding of how guys operate check out my article “How To Get A Guy To Open Up About His Feelings.”
4. He’s Losing Interest In You
His texts may be dwindling off because he’s loosing interest in you. But in my experience coaching both men and women, if it’s been 24 hours or you’re at the 2 or 3 day mark it’s to early to tell. This is were you have to look at your relationship patterns and history with him.
If you think things are going well, you’re going on dates and otherwise communicating consistently that great! You most likely have nothing to worry about.
However, if for example his pattern is that he runs hot and hold texting you a lot, then disappearing for days. Or constantly cancels dates with you. Then it’s an indication that he’s probably not that serious and may be a sign that he isn’t interested in a relationship with you.
If he still hasn’t contacted you in 5 days or a week or more then it may be that he’s not the guy for you.
5. He Is Playing Mind Games With You
Unfortunately, when you’re dating you can run into guys that you think are great but actually turn out to be low quality. Guys that will try to play you until they get what they want. He may be purposely not texting for a few days to keep you guessing and toy with you.
If given your history with him, like he’s ran hot and cold in the past. It may be time to move on all together.
If you’re not sure if he’s playing you you can check out this quiz “Is he Playing Me (Quiz)“. For a full run down of all the signs read my article “Is He Playing Me?“. Which tells you the 17 definite signs a guy is playing you.
When A Guy Stops Texting You For Days
The first three reasons above are best case scenario. While the last two can be difficult to hear. But still must be said because there could be something going on and it’s important to acknowledge that.
That said it’s just as important, maybe even in someways more important to acknowledge that there could be absolutely nothing going on. That it’s only been a few days and everything is 100% totally ok.
How To Handle A Guy Not Texting For A Few Days
If he hasn’t texted you in a few days it’s vital that you take control of the narrative for yourself. You can’t control wether or not he texts you, but you can control how you react to situation. Here’s what to do when you haven’t heard from him for 2-3 days:
1. Take Control Of Your Narrative And Have A “Do Nothing” Approach
If it’s only been 2 or 3 days since he hasn’t texted you the best thing to do is to “do nothing” and give him some space. Don’t text him, don’t call him, don’t re-read his texts over and over, or stalk him on social media.
Just give him, you and the situation in general some space. Because the truth is that not hearing from him for a few days is way too soon to panic.
2. Don’t Give In To Panic Or Jump To Conclusions
I know it’s all too easy to get caught up in negative thoughts that can quickly spin out of control. So it’s important that you take control of the situation and how you’re reacting to not hearing from him.
And even though it may feel difficult try not stress about it too much. Don’t allow yourself to have thoughts that spiral in to catastrophizing the situation. You will have them but don’t let them take over.
Just keep redirecting your thoughts to more logical based ones, that focus on a positive outcome.
3. Focus On Treating Yourself Well
Focus on yourself and doing things that make you feel happy, inspired and confident. When you concentrate on fulfilling your own needs something kind of magical happens. You become much less likely to obsess over his lack of communication. And much more likely to maintain your sense of independence and self-worth.
If you aren’t sure where to start try this exercise that I have my coaching clients do. Make a list of all the things, and activities that you love to do. As well as a list of things, places and activities that you want to try.
Then start incorporating them into your life. It can really help to enrich your life whatever you have going on.
Plus in times of need like when you really, really, really need a distraction, you can always turn to your list for ideas.
Whatever you chose, just get your life moving. Get out of your head, off your phone and out of your house. Spend time with friends, take an interesting class, or try a new hobby or activity.
Plus, by focusing on yourself it also lets you take a step back and see what he does.
More often than not you’ll get a text from him. And well, if you don’t well that’s a sign to.
4. Remember That Not Hearing From Him Isn’t a Reflection Of Your Self-Worth
Being on the modern dating scene is truly a challenge full of emotional ups and downs. It means putting yourself out there and sometimes feeling like you’re being rejected or not good enough in someway. But the truth is your self-worth and lasting happiness is not tied to getting a text from a guy or being in a relationship.
I know that panic is real. Your emotions are real. Even though it may feel like things just aren’t going to go your way again it’s not true. Things are always working out for you.
If it’s not this guy then it will be the next one.
Remember that whatever the outcome of this relationship, you are amazing and worthy of incredible love. This guy is not your only chance at love. He’s just a blip in the bigger picture of things to come.
If it works out with him that’s great! But if not, it’s vital for your your self-esteem and self-worth to feel rooted in your own sense of confidence. That everything is going to be ok. Whether or not you hear from or not.
If you need a self-love boost check out these affirmations for self-love, healing and acceptance.
What To Do When He Finally Texts You
Once you do finally get a text from him (fingers crossed we are talking best case scenario here!) keep your text responses positive and casual. You will need to have a conversation with him about each others texting styles and expectations, but the time for that is in person not over text.
(Don’t worry I share an example of what to say to him below. So keep reading!)
In any relationship communication is key. And texting leaves too much room for misunderstandings. So important conversations should always be had in person as much as possible.
The next time you see him in person that’s when you go for it. Take the plunge and initiate a casual conversation about each others communication style and texting preferences.
To get started simply share with him what your communication preferences are and ask him what his are.
If you’re in a situation where you’ve got a date set up but he still hasn’t texted you to confirm. Then read this article to find out if you should text him first and exactly what to say “Should I Confirm A Date With A Guy?”
What To Say To Him To Get Him To Text You More
If you love it when a guy texts you everyday you can let him know that. However keep in mind it’s a request not a demand.
Most high value men that are into you will try to make you happy as much as possible. But they won’t respond to demands.
Example #1: Here’s what to say when he hasn’t texted in a few days:
“I’m the kind of girl that really appreciates it when a guy texts me everyday. How about you? What’s your texting style?”
Example #2: Here’s what to say when he hasn’t texted in a few days:
“I love getting texts from you. It makes me feel happy knowing that you’re thinking of me. I’m the kind of girl that really appreciates it when a guy texts me everyday. Do you think that’s something you can do?”
He may tell you that the prefers to only text 2-3 times a week and there’s nothing wrong with that either. The goal of your conversation should be to deepen your understanding of each other.
As long as he’s showing up, planning dates and keeping in regular contact. It’s a good sign that he likes you and you have nothing to worry about. Even if 2-3 days go by without hearing from him.
Related – “Is it normal for a guy not to text everyday?”. Should you even do it and how much is ok? Check out my article “Should You Text Everyday When Dating?“
When To Be Concerned About A Guy Not Texting You For Days
1. If He Hasn’t Texted You For 2 Or 3 Days:
If you’re newly dating and it’s only been a few days chances are there’s nothing to be worried or concerned about. He may be prioritizing work or have a personal issue going on and you’ll most likely hear from him soon.
If you’re in a relationship and you text everyday and he’s suddenly gone quiet for 2 or 3 days. It could be nothing or there could be something going on. Try not to read too much into it. But make it a priority to ask him what’s going next time you see him.
2. If He Hasn’t Texted You For 5 Days, A Week Or More:
If you normally text on a regular basis but haven’t heard from him for 5 days, a week or more it’s a red flag. And a sign that something is going on with him.
Sure people get busy but we are all looking at our phones all the time. So it’s not like he hasn’t seen your message or knows that you exist.
Three days is one thing but generally speaking the 5 day mark is a tipping point to pay attention to. While yes, it still can mean nothing. So bear that in mind.
However, not hearing from him for 5 days or more is a strong indication that he’s not just busy. But that he may be intentionally avoiding keeping in regular contact with you.
If you’re newly dating and haven’t heard from him for 5 days or more:
If you’re newly dating and he’s stopped texting you it means that he’s either lost interest or that he may like you but isn’t looking for a relationship. It can also be because he’s met someone else.
It doesn’t mean that you’ve done something wrong or weren’t good enough. He’s just not your guy. Because the guy for you will make you a priority in his life. He won’t leave you hanging for days on end.
If this is the case it’s probably best for you to move on.
If he’s your boyfriend or you’ve been together for awhile and he hasn’t messaged in 5 days or more:
If he’s your boyfriend or you’ve been seeing each other for awhile and you haven’t heard from him 5 days or more it’s a bad sign. If you’re in a relationship it is not normal for your partner to just disappear.
He could be seeing someone else or has decided to do a slow fade until things finally fizzle out. Either way he is deliberately avoiding contacting you for his owns reasons.
Which by the way, is not how quality guys treat a woman that they care about.
Relationship ready guys communicate with their partner. They don’t just disappear and leave you hanging without a word.
At this point it’s a good idea for your to reach out and see what’s going on. He’s your boyfriend after all so it’s ok to text him first.
Let him know how you feel about him disappearing and reappearing. Then see what he says and does.
Related – 15 Signs You’re Dating A Grown Man (Who’s Actually Emotionally Mature), How To Attract An Emotionally Mature Man
How Long Do You Wait For A Guy To Text You?
If you’ve been texting a guy and haven’t heard from him in 24 hours or 2 or 3 days it’s completely normal and there’s usually nothing to worry about. A good rule of thumb is to give him a few days or depending on your relationship with him up to a week to text you.
If he hasn’t texted you for 5 days or more it doesn’t mean that you should give up yet. However, it’s definitely something to pay attention to. As this may be a sign that he’s not that interested or available to prioritize a relationship right now.
Conclusion:
If it’s only been a couple of days and you’re asking yourself “Is it normal for a guy not to text for a few days?” you can relax, because it is. And there’s probably nothing to worry about.
Although texting can make things complicated and confusing don’t let the stress and anxiety get to you. It won’t do you any good and will only cause you to spiral into more fear and worry.
Instead, give him a chance to reach out to you. Then the next best thing to do is to communicate openly and honestly with him about each others texting wants, needs and habits. So that you can get on the same page with him from now on.
In fact I recommend that you do this early on as possible. As in my experience coaching both men and women it can really help to avoid these situations all together.
Plus couples that have good communication have the best chance for long-term relationship success. So why not start as early as possible!
**THE NEXT STEP**
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**What To Read Next – Dating Guys & Texting Advice**
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