How To Move On After A Breakup (5 Key Steps That Will Help You Feel Better)

Let’s face it, break ups are the worst and can be one of the toughest times in your life that you will ever go through. Besides being complicated and messy, they have a habit of leaving you reeling in heartbreak and pain. Trying your best to recover and figure out what when wrong. Here are 5 key steps you can take to get over your ex, and move on so you can find love again.

1. Take Your Time

Sometimes we want to fast forward this step, move past all the pain and feel better now. It might be hard but there’s no avoiding it, if you want to heal and move on, whether its been 3 days or 3 years, time will always be a factor.

In many ways a break up is like a death and there’s a process you will go through. Including, letting go of all the hopes and dreams you had for the future with this person.

It’s going to take the time it takes, be patient with yourself.

Give yourself the space you need to heal and go through the grieving stage.

It’s essential to give yourself permission to process all the emotions that are coming up for you. The fear, denial, anger, betrayal, depression, shock and eventually acceptance and recovery.

2. Focus On Moving Forward

It’s important to connect with your emotions but don’t unpack and live there!

We have all been there, replaying that “Bad break up, what when wrong, oh Gawd why did this happen to ME??!!” movie in our head over and over. If you find yourself stuck on relationship repeat, you actually aren’t processing, you are more than likely OBSESSING.

Not a healthy place to be!

Work on accepting that the relationship is over. When I work with my clients I help them think in terms of that the relationship is now complete. It’s not a failure, they aren’t a failure. Some relationships are meant to be forever and that’s ok.

Give yourself permission to move on and believe that there’s a brighter future ahead for you. Surround yourself with supportive friends and if you need it, get professional support from a therapist or coach.

3. Cut The Ties That Bind

In this case this means the social media cord! And yes, the phone and texting cords too.

I know this step can seem so final, but there’s nothing that will keep you more stuck than late night texting or trolling your ex on social media.

Go through all your social media profiles and clear your dating clutter. Take down photos and unfollow or even better, delete or block where needed.

It hurts now, but sometimes you just have to do what is going to be the best and emotionally healthiest for you in the long run.

4. Journal About The Relationship (Reflection & Growth)

How to let go of an ex you still love? Think of them as one of your greatest teachers.

Not every person that you date or are in a relationship is going to be “The One”. Some are there to teach you what you need to learn in order to be the highest version of yourself and prepare you for even greater love.

Don’t skip this step, reflection can help you heal, and a gain new perspective on what was. Which can help you realize that yes, you will find love again and yes there really is a better, more ideal, relationship in your future.

Take the time to reflect and journal on the relationship itself and on your partner.

Ask yourself the following questions…

What did I learn from this relationship?
What worked and what didn’t work?
Did I compromise any deal breakers?
What qualities did your partner hold that aligned with your values and what would be a good fit for you in the future?
Write down anything else you’d like have in future relationship like lifestyle and common goals.

5. Date Yourself

Who were you before The Relationship?

Many women (and men for that matter) tend to lose themselves in a relationship. This is the perfect time to rediscover how amazing and wonderful you are, what makes you happy and all the great things you have to offer someone.

This is the time to follow your interests and hobbies and do things for yourself that are loving, kind and treat yourself the way you want to be treated in a relationship.

Self love is a magnetic energy. The more you practice and embody it, the more love you will attract into your life.

I’m also sharing with you one of my favorite interviews about breakups from the Authentic Love Interview Series with the fabulous Rachel Russo, matchmaker and break up expert.

In this powerful interview we talk about:

How to stop obsessing over the past
How to mend your heart and love again, “Italian American Style”
The steps to get over your ex
Is there a perfect time to start dating again?
Should you try to “get your ex back”?

To watch the video click below…

Affirmations For Healing A Broken Heart

Reciting daily mantras and affirmations can be a good way to heal your heart and find peace and harmony.

Using them rewires your brain and energetic system with more positive thoughts that can help you to remember that you are worthy of love and that everything is going to be Okay.

1. “I am permanent and everything else is temporary.”

2. “I choose to be at peace with the way things are.”

3. “I am compassionate with myself and my heart.”

4. “I trust that life is always working out for me.”

5. “Love guides all of my relationships. everything is unfolding as it’s supposed to.”

6. “I am lovable and worthy. This is the beginning of a positive new direction in my life.”

7. “Every day and in every way I am peaceful, healed, happy, and whole.”