“Should I text a guy thank you after a date?” The official answer to who should text “thank you” after a date. Plus, how to properly thank a guy after a first date (with examples) to avoid mixed signals.
Saying “thank you” after a great date with a guy used to seem pretty straightforward. But now that technology and texting are involved in the dating process. The ettiequte has become increasingly unclear for many people in the early stages of dating.
Luckily, you don’t have to wonder if texting a guy first after your date is the right move, because I’ve got your answers right here.
In this article you’ll find out how to deal with texting a guy after a date. Including, if you should text him thank you, or wait for him to you text first.
You’ll also find out exactly what to say to him after your date. So you can confidently avoid any confusion or mixed signals.
These are the exact tips and advice that I share with my personal date coaching clients who are looking for a quality guy. Strategies which have significantly improved the quality of their dating lives. Helping them to feel more attractive and confident when it comes to understanding modern dating and how to text guys.
Should I Text A Guy Thank You After A Date?
No, you should not text a guy thank you after a date. The proper time to thank a guy for the date is in person at the end of the night. By thanking him in person there is no need to send him another thank you via text message. While texting him a “thank you” after may seem like the polite thing to do, it can come across as desperate or needy instead.
Which is probably not what you were going for.
There are times when texting first after a date could apply to you. Which I will share further along in this article.
First, I’d like to give you some context and then dig a little deeper into this topic below.
Who Should Text First After A Date (Do’s & Don’ts)
Before we continue I’d like to make it clear that my answers aren’t centred around gender equality, dating rules or politeness. Because at the end of the day of course it’s perfectly acceptable to text a guy first or text a guy thank you after a date.
But “Should you?” is the question. Is it going to get you feeling like you’re experiencing the relationship that you really want to be in?
The majority of women that I work with want to feel like the guy is pursuing and, (to use an old-timey term), courting them. They want to feel like he’s moving the relationship forward. That they don’t have to do everything. That he’s making the effort to text her, ask her out, and plan dates etc.
Does that mean that a man has to do everything according to traditional “dating rules”? No, it does not.
The truth is that the answers that I’m sharing with you are more nuanced that. This is more about what’s the most effective way to deal with the opposite sex during the early stages of dating (the first few dates). Without playing games. In this case men.
Ultimately, this is designed to help you learn to confidently navigate the dating process. While communicating your interest, needs and wants in a high value way. That’s aligned with what you’re looking for in a partner and in a relationship.
It’s also not about “leaning back” and letting a guy chase you. Courtship and relationships take both people making the effort. However, they don’t necessarily communicate it to each other in the same ways.
The example below of what to say to thank a guy after a date will help to give you some further clarity.
How To Thank A Guy After A Date
To thank a guy after a date you should say “thank you” in person at the end of the date and make sure to include these points: First express your sincere appreciation. Next say a direct “thank you”, and finally, let him know that you’d love to do it again sometime.
It’s important that you communicate with him directly. As men don’t often pick up on subtle clues. So the clearer you are the better.
Examples Of How To Thank A Guy After A First Date
Example #1 Say to him: “I really enjoyed the restaurant that you chose. Thank you for a wonderful evening. I’ve had a lovely time and I would love to do it again sometime soon.”
Example #2 Say To Him: “Thank you for the wonderful evening. I appreciate that you chose a restaurant on my side of town, that was so thoughtful of you. I enjoyed myself and look forward to seeing you again soon.”
That is all you need to say to thank him after your date. It sends him a clear signal that you’re interested and open to going on another date. And is also a perfect example of doing your part in moving the relationship forward.
If you do this there is absolutely no reason to send him another thank you the second you get home. Or over the next day or two after either.
Furthermore, just because you can text somebody doesn’t mean that you should.
Think of it this way…imagine life before phones. For many of us that was our reality. We would go on dates and say a polite “thank you” at the end of the night. Then that would be it. The guy would either call and ask you for a another date or you’d never hear from him again.
You wouldn’t go home and immediately call the guy that night or the next morning to say thank you for the date. That would be weird.
So why would you text? It’s basically the same thing. Especially, if you expressed your genuine thanks on the date.
There’s nothing wrong with leaving a little space, after your date to see how things develop.
When It’s Ok To Text A Guy After The First Date
As promised, here is the exception when it comes to sending him the first text after a date. As well as, a few general rules of thumb to follow.
If you feel like you forgot to thank him properly. Or if you aren’t sure that he got the message that you’re interested in seeing him again. Then you can wait a couple of days and send him a cute text message and see how he responds.
Avoid using the script I gave you above. Instead send him a message with a tone that’s slightly more casual. Below are a couple of examples of what you can message him to say thanks for a date:
Example #1: “Thanks again for a fun date last night! I’m definitely looking forward to round two…:)”
Example #2: “Last night was really fun! Thanks for such a great night, you had me smiling from ear to ear! Looking forward to seeing you again soon.”
If you’re looking for tips on how to text guys. Check out this post 27 Ways To Start A Conversation With A Guy Over Text (+ Examples) and this one How To Text A Guy And Keep Him Interested In You.
What To Do If You’re Obsessing Over Wether Or Not To Text Him First After Your Date
If your obsessing over wether or not you should message him. Or asking yourself “Should I text him first?” after your date. It’s good idea to look at where your desire to message him is coming from.
Is it really coming from a place of politeness? Or is it because you want to get his attention, and remind him that you’re alive. So that he’ll move things along and ask you on another date?
If you decide that it’s coming from a place of genuine connection and you are 100% ok with the outcome. And will feel ok about the situation wether or not you hear back from him or get asked on another date. Then go ahead and and text him first.
However if it’s coming from a place of fear or worry. Then it’s better not to text him. It will only cause you to spiral further into more worry and anxiety.
It is much more high value, even if you’re dying to get a text from the guy, to just hold back. And lean into your own life.
Shift your attention from waiting to hear from a guy that you like, but actually don’t really even know that well. To focusing more on you and doing the things that make you happy.
Once you do you’ll find yourself not only happier but much more confident that you are attracting in the right man. Because at the end of the day, if he wants to text you and ask you on another date, you will hear from him.
Men besides being generally wired for the hunt, got the memo a long time ago how dating in general works.
Which means that if a guy is interested he will pursue you. Thank you text or not.
Do Guys Like It When You Say Thank You?
While you can find polls or studies that support men appreciating a thank you text right after a date. You can find just as many that support the opposite. So which is right? In my 15 plus years of education and experience coaching men and women. Men appreciate it most when you thank them in person at the end of the date.
Of course that doesn’t mean that if you sent a thank you text message that he would dislike it. Most guys would be ok with it. However, what is likely to happen is that he may begin to loose interest. Let me explain.
Men, especially men that are more in their masculine energy are wired to be the pursuer. When a woman begins to lead the chase in same manner that he would. There is no polarity. Which then leads to him becoming much more likely to loose interest in her.
Furthermore, if you’re to look at it from the woman’s perspective, if she’s leading the chase the reverse happens for her. She begins to feel like the right guys never pursue or want her. Or endlessly complain that when she does meet a guy that she’s the one making all the effort in the relationship.
Should A Woman Text A Man After A Date?
If a woman wants a man to actively pursue her she should not text him first after the date. She should sincerely thank him in person at the end of the date. Let him know that she enjoyed herself and would like to do it again sometime. Then leave the ball in his court and let him text her first after the date.
At the end of the day it’s about balance in your relationships with men. Courtship is a dance and it takes two partners to make it work. Trying to force something causes missteps that puts the whole rhythm off.
To successfully date and attract the right guy. One of the best skills that you can develop is to learn how to communicate with men effectively. Men do not communicate the same as women. They don’t talk, listen or even text the same as us.
Learning how to express yourself to men, both in-person and over text is crucial. As these are core skills that are a vital part of confidently navigating the dating landscape. As well as, integral to having a successful long-term relationship.
It’s also important to note that while texting is convenient, it can unnecessarily complicate matters. So in the early dating stages it’s vital to say the things that matter most in person. As much as possible.
This will help you to avoid many of the communication issues that come up in the early stages of texting and dating. And help you to be a happier and more successful finding the right man for you!
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