Is he playing me? How to tell if a guy is playing you or really likes you

Is He Playing Me (17 Sure Signs He’s Toying With You)

Is he playing me? 17 sure signs that a guy is toying with your heart. Plus tips from a dating coach on how to handle it.

When you met he was attractive, charming and interested. But still you find yourself wondering “is he playing me?”. Well, if you’ve been asking yourself this question then one thing is clear.

You need answers as quickly as possible!

Signs he's playing with you and your feelings

If you’ve been confused about his intentions, it’s no wonder. After all guys like this can make your head spin.

Players got game. And they are really good at saying and doing the right things. Which is why when you encounter one it can be so confusing. 

But not to worry, we’re here to help with exactly how to tell if he’s playing you for a fool or not.

Is He Playing Me?

If you want to find out if he’s not serious about you then there will be clear signs that you can look for. Below you’ll find the top 17 undeniable signs that he’s playing you. So you’ll finally be able to tell if he is toying with you or not:

Signs He's Playing You

Signs He’s Playing You – 17 Ways To Know

1. He’s Charming, Intense And Came On To You Strong

If you’re asking yourself “is he playing me?”, it’s always good to take a look at how you first met this guy.

When you meet a player he’s smooth and exudes confidence. In fact, he’s so charming that it almost feels too good to be true. He’s intense, and very flirty.

His attention makes you special, beautiful and chosen. He gets your number and wants to see you as soon as possible. You feel completely swept away.

But, sometimes when things feel too good to be true, it’s because they are.

The reality is that most men, even successful men, can actually be quite shy and nervous talking to a woman that they find attractive in public.

Signs you're being played

There are exceptions to this rule of course but we are talking signs here so keep that in mind.

Men that are players like the game, and what does it take to get good at a game? Practice.

Players learn to be charming, and easily pick up women because they get a lot of practice at it. They spend a significant amount of time and energy talking to women. Flirting with them, getting their phone numbers and quickly setting up first dates.

And they’ve done it time and time again. Which is why it’s so easy for him to do the same thing with you.

So while the charm and confidence that you’re feeling from him is real. It’s also only surface level. It’s actually an early sign that he’s out to play you.

Because he’s not confident that he’s finally met his person. He’s confident in himself and in his ability to play the game.

Signs you're being played

2. If He Tells You That He Really Likes You But He’s Not Looking For Anything Serious Then He’s Playing You

If this guy’s intent on playing you, he will make statements that I like to call “relationship disclaimers”. Which is basically a statement that sounds like he’s interested when really he’s telling you that he has no plans to commit to you.

He’ll say something like “I’m not looking for a relationship right now, but I like you. Let’s just see where things go”.

Essentially, he makes a statement that gets your hopes up. A statement that makes you think that things with him could lead to something more. But really it’s not.

is he playing me or is he serious how to tell

Because he’s put a disclaimer in there. And is outright telling you that he’s not ever going to get serious with you. Many men will do this so they don’t feel guilty about ditching you as soon as they get what they want.

So if he says something like this to you pay attention, because it’s a definite sign that he’s playing you. It doesn’t matter how charming he is, or how into you he seems.

Believe him when he says he doesn’t want a relationship and move on.

Because there’s really only one way this ends. He will string you along until he gets what he wants. And you find yourself alone. Heartbroken, feeling used and wondering why things didn’t work out.

How to tell if a guy is playing you.

3. He Texts You But Doesn’t Ask You Out

If he’s texting you but never gets around to making plans with you in real life then it’s a sign he’s playing you. He may be texting you because he likes the attention or ego boost he gets from it. He may be texting because he wants to keep you in his back pocket in case he wants a booty call someday.

Whatever the reason the bottom line is this – no matter how flirty he is, or interested he seems. Texting is not enough.

If he was truly serious about you he would pursue you by asking you out and taking you out on real dates.

How to tell if he likes you or is just playing you

4. He Asks You Out But Doesn’t Take You On Real Dates

If a guy is playing you he won’t invest in the relationship beyond anything that doesn’t serve his agenda. If he’s looking mostly for a booty call. He’ll text you to hang out last minute or only late at night. And then the date is only a “Netflix and chill” situation.

He will never plan anything romantic or really put in any effort at all. In fact if he’s a player and his plan is only to get into your pants. Then he will only put in the bare minimum of what it takes to achieve his shady goals.

how to know a guy is playing you

5. He Doesn’t Bring You Around His Friends or Family

If he’s playing you then he will keep you at a distance from his life, and won’t introduce you to his friends or family. While it’s completely normal not to meet a guys friends or family in the early stages of dating. There comes a point where it’s a natural next step a healthy relationship.

If you’ve been seeing him for 3 months or more but still haven’t met any of the important people in his life? Then it’s something you should take note of.

His actions are a sure sign that he’s not serious about you. As well as also a strong indication that you’re only one of many women that he’s been seeing.

And he can’t take you around other people because he doesn’t want to get stuck with someone letting it slip. Or face a lot of prying questions about his dating life.

how to know a guy is playing you

6. He Makes You Feel Unsure And You Spend A Lot Of Time Analyzing What He Says

One of the biggest signs that he’s playing you is that his actions don’t match his words. One day texting you constantly and telling you that he can’t get enough of you. Then the next disappearing for weeks. Canceling plans or blowing you off at the last minute. Only to reappear again telling you how much he misses you.

You end up in your head over analyzing the relationship. Spinning in circles trying to figure out what you’ve done wrong. Rereading your text messages and replaying the time you spent with him.

Wondering what you should’ve said or done that could’ve been better. Blaming yourself, feeling guilty or ashamed of being too needy or pushing him away.

is he playing me or is he serious

But the truth is a guy that’s truly interested in you is not going to leave you wondering or feeling bad about yourself.

You will know where you stand with him. His actions will match his words. He will show up when he says he will. He will call you and text you when he says he will. He won’t cancel plans or ditch you.

You’ll feel good about him and the relationship when you’re with him and when you’re not.

Which brings me to the next sign that he’s playing you.

how to tell if you're being played

7. He’s Really Good At Saying All The Right Things

Him being really good at saying all the right things is one of the reasons that you get so in your head about him.

Players are masters at telling you what you want to hear. While still doing whatever the heck they want. It’s the best way to confuse you, and pull the wool over your eyes. About what his real intentions towards you are.

Therefore if he’s really good at the sweet talk it’s something to pay attention to. As, it’s one of the main things that players get a lot of practice at. Because without that skill they can’t play you.

how to tell if you're being played

8. He’s Not Interested In Getting To Know The Real You

A guy that’s playing you will only be interested in you on a superficial level. He may say sweet things to you and compliment you on how hot you look. Or ask you basic get to know you questions.

However, he won’t be interested in getting to know the real you on a deeper level. By showing genuine curiosity about you. Such as asking you about your likes, dislikes, opinions or feelings.

How to tell if you're being played

9. He’s Secretive About His Life

Just like he’s not that interested in the real you or your life. If he’s playing you he will avoid sharing the intimate details of his life with you. You may know the basics. But when pressed further he will be pretty vague about the details.

He’ll also be pretty vague about where he goes, what he does or who he spends time with. Not to mention that he’ll guard his phone like a hawk. And wouldn’t even consider leaving you alone in a room with it.

How to tell if a guy is using you

10. He Tried To Get You Into Bed As Quickly As Possible

If a guy is playing you it’s usually for one reason. He wants to sleep with you as quickly as he possibly can. While it’s true that most men will take a shot at seeing if they can sleep with you at the end of a date. Even a first date. Not all of them are players.

They’re well, simply men taking their shot. The main difference is that a guy that is truly interested will respect your boundaries. And when you tell him that you want to slow things down or wait to get physical. Will back off and still be interested in seeing you again.

A guy that’s using you and only out for one thing won’t respect your boundaries. His mood will change. It may go from sweet to distant, cold or angry. He may try to push even harder to see if you’ll give in.

If this happens, even if he puts his sweet talking “Prince Charming” mask back on don’t be fooled! It’s time to run from him and never look back.

It’s never a good sign when a man reacts negatively when you set a boundary with him.

And it clearly shows that he doesn’t value your or respect your needs. A sure signal that he’s only in it for the booty call and will disappear as soon as he gets what he wants.

how to tell if a guy is using you

11. He Tells You That He’s Never Been In Love Or Had A Serious Relationship

Another key sign that he’s playing you is if tells you that he’s never been in love, or had a serious relationship. In fact it’s a big red flag. One that should make you stop and seriously question what his intentions towards you really are. 

Especially, if this guy is good with women, and has been dating for a long time.

Because his lack of serious relationship history is a very strong indicator that he hops from woman to woman with little or no plans for settling down. While yes, some men do change when they meet the right one, the truth is that is very, very rare

how to tell if a guy is using you

12. He Still Has Dating Apps On His Phone

If he hasn’t deleted his dating apps, then you’re most likely dealing with a guy that is playing you. Yes, in the early dating stages it’s completely normal to still date other people. But there comes a certain point where you know that you really like someone. At least enough to get off the apps and stop looking for anyone else.

When questioned about it, he may sweet talk you or try to downplay why they’re still on his phone. But the truth is if they’re still on there, it’s because he wants them to be.

And he’s either still swiping for an ego boost, or most likely because he’s looking to hook up with other women. 

Signs a guy is playing you

How To Know If A Guy Is Playing With Your Feelings

13. When You Question Him, He Tells You That You’re Crazy

Guys that are playing you love to deflect when you try to question them about something they’ve said or done that doesn’t seem right to you. They do this by undermining your thoughts and feelings and gaslighting you.

Instead of having a thoughtful conversation or taking responsibility for his actions. He’ll try to make you feel like there’s something wrong with you. He’ll tell you that you’re imagining things. That you’re crazy, too sensitive or being paranoid.

But it’s not you, it’s him.

Emotionally, mature relationship ready men don’t behave this way.

A guy that really cares about you won’t try to make you feel bad about yourself, put you down or call you crazy.

And if he does, then it’s a sign that he’s playing you and not the man that you were hoping he was.

Is he playing me or is he serious

14. He Has A Player Lifestyle

If you’re wondering if a guy is out to play you one of the best ways to tell is to take a look at his lifestyle. Players need to play the game, and where do they do that? Da Club.

If he’s living the player life he’ll be too busy to see you most nights (then usually only on a specific weekday). He’ll make it seem as if he’s got unbreakable plans or is swamped at work.

But really he’s not.

Most nights he’s actually dressed to the nines and out partying with his friends and meeting other women. When he’s not with his friends, he’s spending time with other women.

Is he playing me or is he serious

15. He Is Always On His Phone

If he’s a player he’ll have a lot of women that he’s communicating with and he’ll be attached to his phone 24/7. He’ll also guard his phone like a hawk and take it everywhere with him.

He’ll get mysterious texts at all hours. And if he has a call, he’ll either ignore it or take it in another room.

Therefore, if your guy’s phone is blowing up every 2 minutes – beware! It’s a definite sign of shady behavior that you should not ignore.

How to tell if you're being played

16. He Only Ever Sees You When It’s Convenient For Him

If your dates consist of him texting you to hang out at the last minute. Or if he only sees you during the week when he’s got nothing else going on. And he doesn’t make plans in advance, especially setting up a weekend date. It’s another sure sign that he’s playing you.

Because when a man is serious about you he will make seeing you a priority. It won’t be all about when’s good for him. He’ll want to know when you’re available too. So he can plan a date in advance and hopefully impress you.

If a guy only wants to see you on his terms and when it’s convenient for him. It’s a huge red flag that you should definitely not ignore.

Related –  “Is It Normal For A Guy To Not Text For A Few Days?”

How to know if a guy is playing with your feelings

17. You Have A Feeling That He Is Playing You

If you’ve been wondering “am I being played?” then you probably have a very good reason for thinking that.

It’s also likely something you’ve been thinking about for sometime.

Trying to ignore certain facts. But slowly the doubt keeps creeping in. And the picture it paints isn’t pretty or easy to face.

But there comes a point when you can’t ignore it. There’s just too much uncertainty and too many unanswered questions.

Because the reality is that no matter how attractive, funny and smart he is. Or how much potential you may think that the relationship has (if only he would…).

Deep down you know the truth about him and his shady gaming ways.

Therefore, if you feel that something is off with him, you must trust your intuition. Don’t keep ignoring the warning signs. It will save you from years of wasted time and heartbreak.

Trust your feelings. Trust yourself. Trust that you deserve better and move on!

Related – How To Attract A High Quality Man

Am I Being Played?

Am I Being Played?

If the guy that you’re with is playing you then you will see clear signs. He will come across as charismatic and intense. He’ll love bomb you and say all the right things. But, his words won’t match his actions. Because he’ll be full of lame excuses and empty promises.

He won’t respect your boundaries, and try to get you into the bedroom as quickly as possible. He will be secretive, and his communication will be inconsistent. He’ll only see you on his terms. He won’t invest in your relationship or move it forward.

Basically if you’re being played, your relationship will feel like an emotional roller coaster ride. And you’ll constantly be wondering where you stand with him.

Does he really love me or is he playing me

Signs A Guy Is Toying With Your Heart

Now that you now the signs a guy is playing you, you’ll be able to tell whether the guy that you’re dating is serious about you or not.

And finally stop dealing with the emotional ups and downs of a toxic relationship.

Constantly asking yourself questions like “does he like me?” or “is he playing me?”.

Because the truth is if a guy wants a real relationship with you, you’re not going to have to question it. You will know.

You will be his priority. He will care about getting to know you. He will text you, and take you on real dates. He will make you a part of his life and want to be a part of yours.

You will feel safe, seen, valued and cared for.

He Is Playing Me (What To Do Now)

If the guy that you’re seeing is showing the signs that he’s using you and messing with your feelings. Then it’s time to take a serious look at what’s really going on. Stop wasting your time on him and move on.

I know it hurts to hear this. Especially, when it started out so great and you truly feel a connection with him. 

But it’s much better to save yourself from getting played and move on. To a healthy relationship with a loving man that wants the same things as you.

Because he’s out there! 

Trust and have faith that you will find him. Because you deserve better and are worthy of a quality guy that adores you. A man that truly sees how amazing you are in every way!



PS. If you still feel confused about him take our quiz to quickly find out if he’s serious or not >> Is He Playing Me Quiz


Want to meet a high quality man? Get your complimentary guide from a dating and relationship coach >> 44 Places To Meet A High Quality man >> Click Here.

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