50 Questions to ask before marriage. Deep topics that every couple should discuss with their partner before they commit to tying the knot.
There is an idea in our society that perpetuates a “love conquers all” approach to relationships. While being in love is wonderful, and highly prized. It’s not enough to sustain a healthy long-term relationship. Nor does being in love and finding “the one” determine wether this person is truly a compatible partner for you.
Furthermore, many couples that are exploring the option of marriage either assume that they already know everything about their partner. While others are too afraid to ask the big questions. Around family, finances, raising kids, religion, communication and conflict resolution.
In order to make sure that you’re on the same page before tying the knot, it’s important to take the time to have conversations with your partner. By asking them the right questions that go deep.
As the more you understand each others needs, wants, expectations, communication style and love language, the better your chances are for having a successful marriage. Which is the goal right?
50 Questions To Ask Before Marriage
These are the best 50 questions to ask before marriage. Which cover all the major topics from family and finances to couples goals, romance, intimacy, communication and more. So you can prepare for a happy, healthy and stable long-term marriage with your partner:
Questions About Relationships and Commitment
- When do you feel the most connected and loved in our relationship?
- What does partnership and marriage mean to you?
- What’s your favorite thing about our relationship?
- What qualities do I have that make you want to be married to me?
- How do you envision our life as a married couple in five years? In 10? In 20?
- Once we are married, what kind of partner will you strive to be for me?
- After we get married, is there anything about me that you would like me to change?
- What do you think is the best way to keep the love alive and going strong in a marriage?
Questions About Children and Family Planning
- Do you want children? If yes, how many? When would the best time be for us to start?
- What if we can’t have biological kids of our own? Would you be willing to adopt or use a surrogate?
- What is your attitude toward children? How would they fit into our life?
- When we start having kids, how do you envision your role in the day-to-day childcare responsibilities?
- What is your perspective on childcare? Are you open to having one of us being a stay-at-home parent?
Questions About Lifestyle & Goals
- What are your personal goals in life? Do you think are they compatible with my goals as your partner?
- What are our shared goals as couple? Long-term? Short-term?
- How do you imagine us spending our free time once we’re married?
- Where will we live? Do you want to rent or buy a home?
- Is there anything that you aren’t willing to give up once we’re married?
- How will we divide the household chores like cleaning, shopping, laundry and cooking?
- How much quality couples time do you think we should we spend together? Daily, weekly, monthly?
Communication Questions To Discuss Before Marriage
- How will we make big decisions once we’re married? How about small decisions?
- Is there such a thing as a “perfect marriage”? What does having the “perfect marriage” look like to you?
- What are your thoughts on communication in a relationship?
- What’s your love language? How do you feel the most loved? How do you like to communicate your love to your partner?
- What are some fears you have about get married?
- Is there anything that you want to experience before you get married?
- Do you have any major secrets that haven’t shared with me yet?
- When you’re in a relationship what do you define as cheating?
- Do we have any differences that lead to conflict between us?
- What is best way for us as a married couple to deal with conflict and resolve disagreements?
Financial Questions To Ask Your Partner Before Marriage
- What are your long-term financial goals?
- How much money do you earn a year? How much do you have in savings right now?
- Do you prefer that we keep our finances, bank accounts and assets separate and in our own names or share them?
- Do you have any debt (Student loans, credit card, mortgage etc.)? If so how much is it?
Related – Questions For Engaged Couples
Questions For Couples About Personal Values, Morals, Faith & Spirituality
- What are your spiritual or religious beliefs? How important are your religious and/or spiritual practices to you? Do you observe them daily, weekly, yearly or not at all?
- Is there anything that you do in your line of work or in your past that I would disapprove of? Or that may hurt or effect me now or in the future, in anyway, legally or otherwise?
- Where do you draw the line between secrecy and privacy?
- What are your thoughts on racism, sexism, politics and other controversial topics?
- Do you think that there are some situations where it’s ok to lie to your partner? If so, what are they?
Questions For Couples On Romance & Physical Intimacy
- When it comes to our relationship, do you think that we’re on track to still be in love in 5, 10, 20 years or more?
- What role do you think sex and intimacy should play in a marriage?
- What are your thoughts about our sex life right now? Is there anything we could improve or change?
- How important is romance to you? What role do you think romance should play in a long-term relationship?
- What’s something I do that always turns you on?
- Relationships have their ups and downs, how will we deal with staying connected to each other when our desire for physical intimacy doesn’t match up?
Deep Questions For Couples To Ask Before Marriage: Family, Friends & The Past
- What role should extended family play in a relationship?
- Are there any patterns that have popped up in your past relationships, and do you see that happening with us?
- What boundaries do you have with your family and friends?
- Growing up how did your family handle conflict? Did they use the silent treatment, calmly discuss disagreements or yell and slam doors?
- Do you have any friends or family who think that we shouldn’t get married? Why?
Fun Questions To Ask Before Marriage
Ask your boyfriend or girlfriend these fun questions on a weeknight date night out, relaxing at home, or to liven up a road trip:
- What is a quality that you love about me that you hope never changes?
- Have you learned anything new about yourself since we started dating?
- When was the moment you knew that you wanted to marry me?
- What is the most you’d be willing to spend on a lamp, a pair of shoes, or a pair of jeans?
- What age do you want to be when you retire?
- Was there anything that surprised you about me after we started dating?
- How much money do we need to live the lifestyle that we both want?
- What are you most excited about when it comes to our future as a married couple?
- What are some of memories that you want us to make after we get married?
Why Is It Important For Couples To Ask Questions Before Getting Married?
Couples should ask each other questions before getting married for three main reasons. First, asking meaningful questions will help you make sure that you’re truly compatible with your partner.
Secondly, the conversations that come from asking questions will give you a firm understanding of each others needs, wants, expectations, love languages and communication styles.
Which thirdly, helps to help guard against any potential issues that may arise in the marriage. Thus ensuring that your marriage is starting out on the right foot and is as successful as possible.
Furthermore, I’ve found that in my experience over 15 plus years as dating and relationship coach. It’s the couples that have open lines of communication. Along with honest conversations that have the most fulfilling relationships.
Final Thoughts – On Asking Your Partner Questions Before Marriage
Getting to the point in your relationship were you’re getting serious about getting engaged, married and spending your life together is a truly wonderful time for you both. So make sure that you are balancing this exciting time with some deep conversations as well.
Though at first glance the questions may seem serious, they can actually be a fun opportunity to deepen your relationship. And grow even closer to your partner than ever before.
So make sure to keep this list of 50 questions to ask before marriage on hand. That way you know that you’re discussing everything you need to know before you commit to each other for life.
So your future marriage is as bright and successful as possible.
Once you get engaged make sure that you continue the conversation. With my list of Questions For Engaged Couples. With over 220 topics that you can ask your fiancé before getting married.
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