220 Questions for engaged couples to ask each other before they get married. The best topics to discuss with your partner before marriage for a happy and fulfilling life together.
Congratulations, you’re engaged! Deciding to get married is a wonderful time in every couples life. It’s also a time to dig a little deeper into your relationship to make sure that your marriage starts out on the right foot.
The best way for couples to do this is to ask each other the important questions before they get married. So they can avoid future issues down the road.
Engaged couples should make it a point to discuss with each other topics including finances, living arrangements, families, careers, and future goals. They should also discuss how they will handle disagreements and what their expectations are for the marriage. By talking about these things before getting married, couples can help ensure that their relationship starts off on a strong footing.
Which is why we put together this list of questions for engaged couples. Below you’ll find the best list of questions to ask each other so that your future marriage starts out a smoothly as possible.
200 Questions For Engaged Couples
Some engaged couples may feel like they already know everything about their partner, but there are always surprises. It’s best to be prepared for the big day by learning as much as possible about each other and what marriage will entail.
From marriage to commitment, communication, money, deep questions, intimacy and everything in-between. The following are some good questions engaged couples should ask each other before tying the knot.
20 Questions To Ask Your Partner Before Marriage About Relationships and Commitment
- When do you feel the most connected and loved in our relationship?
- What does partnership and marriage mean to you?
- What’s your favorite thing about our relationship?
- What does commitment mean to you?
- What’s the most romantic thing that we’ve done together, and why?
- What qualities do I have that make you want to be married to me?
- How do you envision our life as a married couple in five years? In 10? In 20?
- What is a quality that you love about me that you hope never changes?
- Once we are married, what kind of partner will you strive to be for me?
- After we get married, is there anything about me that you would like me to change?
- How do you feel about relationship check ins? Are you willing to schedule one evening a month to regularly sit down with each other?
- What are your relationship deal breakers?
- Is there anything that you think you will have to give up after we get married?
- What are three things that you most appreciate about me?
- How will you handle it if we begin to drift apart from each other?
- What do you consider cheating?
- If one of us feels like we’re being taken for granted, how should we communicate that to the other person?
- What’s something that you used to believe about relationships but no longer do?
- What have your past relationship experiences taught you about the importance of marriage and commitment?
- What are some memories you want us to create together?
Questions For Engaged Couples To Ask About Children and Family Planning
When it comes to children and family planning, there are a few key questions that every engaged couple should discuss before they get married. It’s one highly important conversation that you have with your fiancé early on, as it can help avoid any conflict or misunderstandings down the road.
- Do you want children? If so how many?
- If we decide to have kids, when would the best time be for us to start?
- What if we can’t have biological children?
- Would you be willing to adopt or use a surrogate if we couldn’t have kids naturally?
- If we have kids, what do you imagine that our day-to-day life will be like?
- How comfortable are you around kids?
- What is your attitude toward children?
- How do you feel about birth control? Which one of us should be using it and what kind?
- When we start having children, how do you envision your share of childcare responsibilities?
- How will we handle it if we both agree on wether or not to have kids, and one of us changes our mind?
- What is your perspective on child care and having one of us being a stay-at-home parent?
- If one of you have children from a previous relationship then ask your partner this question: After we get married how do you envision blending our families together?
Questions For Couples To Ask Each Other About Lifestyle Preferences
When you’re planning on getting married and spending the rest of your life with someone, it’s important to be on the same page about what your future lifestyle will look like. Here are some questions for engaged couples to ask each other about lifestyle preferences:
- How do you imagine us spending our free time once we’re married?
- After you get home from work what does your ideal weeknight look like?
- Do you regularly pursue any hobbies or recreational activities? How much time do you spend on them?
- What does your ideal day-off look like?
- Do you want to rent or buy a home?
- How much money do we need to live the lifestyle that we both want?
- How will we divide the household chores like cleaning, shopping, laundry and cooking?
- Are you OK with hiring someone to help clean?
- How many weeknights per week should we spend quality time together?
- What does quality time during weekdays look like for us? Do you prefer staying in and cooking a meal together or having a date night out?
- What can we do to make sure we’re able to have a healthy balance of social engagement and couple time?
- How will we celebrate our birthdays and wedding anniversaries?
- How much quality couples time should we spend together? Daily? Weekly? Monthly?
- How much alone time do you need?
- How important is spending time with friends to you?
- How often do you think that we should invite friends or family to our home? Are there times when you don’t want anyone invited over?
- How would you feel about me going for a weekend away with friends?
- How do you think our social life as an engaged couple will change once we are married?
- How do you feel about my friends who are still single? Would it be OK if I still went out with them once in a while?
- How do you think that your personal friendships will change once we are married?
- What does your ideal vacation look like?
- How often would you like to travel?
- Where would you like to travel?
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Career Goals And Work Questions To Ask Before Marriage
Before you get married there are a lot of things to think about and plan for. One important topic to discuss with your future spouse is what each others current work life and career goals are. This is important to know because it can affect things like where you will live, how much money you will make, and what kind of lifestyle you will have.
- Do you like your job?
- What would you like to be doing for work 5 years from now? In 10? In 20?
- Are you considering going back to school or making a career change?
- What are your career goals in both the near and distant future?
- If you could change your career today, would you do it, and what would it be?
- Does your job require you to travel a lot? If yes, will you make an effort to be at home as much as possible when you aren’t traveling?
- Do you consider yourself ambitious? If so, how do you think that it will effect our future relationship?
- Has work ever interfered with your personal relationships before?
- How important is the work ethic to you? What’s your work style?
- If I get offered my dream job but it’s across the country, would you be willing to relocate with me?
- Will you support me if I have to work long hours for an extended period of time?
- Do you have a retirement plan? Where and what do you see yourself doing?
- Do you think that you ever prioritize work over other aspects of your life?
- Would you support me if I wanted to quit my job to be a stay at home parent?
- Do you think that having a demanding job supports us having a lifestyle that we both enjoy?
- Will you always support my career goals? Is there ever a time that you wouldn’t?
- Do you think that our individual career goals ever conflict with each other?
- Is there anything that you do in your line of work that I would disapprove of or that may hurt or effect me now or in the future, in anyway, legally or otherwise?
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Questions To Ask Your Fiancé About Communication
When you’re getting to know your fiancé on a deeper level, it’s important to ask them questions about communication. This will help you get an idea of how they communicate with others and how they might handle conflict in the relationship after you’re married. Here are some good questions to ask your future spouse that will get the conversation started about how you will communicate with each other:
- Is there such a thing as a “perfect marriage”? What does having the “perfect marriage” look like to you?
- When it comes to our relationship, do you think that we’re on track to still be in love in 5, 10, 20 years or more? If not, what can we do right now so that we have the best chance of living happily ever after?
- How will we make decisions once we’re married?
- What if we disagree when making decisions?
- How would you describe our arguments?
- If you could change something about how we handle disagreements right now, what would it be?
- What do you think are the early warning signs of trouble in a marriage?
- Do you feel like I always have your back and that you can count on me no matter what?
- What are your thoughts on communication in a relationship? Is it important to communicate often, or do you think that too much communication can be overwhelming?
- What are your thoughts on conflict resolution? Do you like to talk through disagreements, or do you prefer to avoid conflict altogether?
- When do you feel the most at ease with me?
- When do you think that it’s the hardest to communicate with me? Is this something that I can work on or change?
- How do you handle change and the unexpected?
- When two people are married, who should come first: your work, partner, children or extended family?
- In your heart of hearts, do you believe that we are compatible? If not, is there a way that we can improve our compatibility?
- What’s your love language? How do you feel the most loved? How do you like to show your love?
- What can I do this week to make you feel loved and appreciated?
- When it comes to expressing physical affection. Do I hug, kiss, and touch you too much or not enough?
- Do you believe that we’re investing our time in the things that we should be?
20 Things To Discuss Before Marriage – Communication Questions
- Are there any areas of relationship communication where I could improve?
- How comfortable are you with me sharing my feelings, even if they are negative?
- Once we are married how will you relate to friends the opposite-sex in person and on social media? Will anything change? Do you foresee any issues?
- What are a few things that you appreciate about our relationship?
- Do you believe that trust is automatic until something happens that takes it away. Or is trust something that’s built and evolves over time?
- How do you process and express emotions such as anger, sadness or frustration?
- Do you have any fantasies about your future spouse and what you’re looking for in a marriage?
- When do you feel the most loved by me?
- What actions would you take if we fell out of love?
- What do you think is the best way to keep the love alive and going strong in a marriage?
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- In your opinion, what is the best thing about being married?
- What do you think is the worst thing about marriage?
- Do you have any fears about being married?
- What excites you about getting married to me?
- Do you think that celebrating your wedding anniversary every year is important?
- What do you think would improve our relationship?
- Do I tell you “I love you” enough?
- Is there anything that you want to experience before you get married? Do you feel free to do it, or is something holding you back?
- When it comes to being compatible how are we similar and how are we different? Do we have any differences that we can’t move past or accept?
- Do you have any major secrets that haven’t shared with me yet?
Financial Questions To Ask Your Partner Before Marriage
After you get married, it’s not just your lifestyle that changes—it’s your finances, too. You and your spouse will be sharing everything from bills to savings and investments. That’s why it’s crucial to have a serious discussion about money before you walk down the aisle. Here are a few financial questions to ask your partner before marriage:
- Do you consider yourself good with money?
- What kinds of things do you most enjoy spending your money on?
- Will we have a budget after we get married? Are you comfortable creating a budget together?
- Who will pay the bills?
- When it comes to money, do you consider yourself a saver or a spender?
- Do you ever want to own a house? If we decide that we want to own a home, what is our financial plan to buy one?
- How comfortable are you discussing money with me?
- How much money do you earn a year?
- How much do you have in savings?
- Do you prefer that we keep our finances, bank accounts and assets separate and in our own names or share them?
- How will we make big financial decisions? And what is considered big is there a specific amount that we can agree on?
- How will we make small financial decisions, and what is considered small? Is there a specific amount that we can agree on?
- What justifies going into debt?
- Do you have any debt (Student loans, credit card, mortgage etc.)? If so how much is it?
- Will we payoff debts separately or share responsibility for each other’s debts?
Money Questions To Ask Your Fiancé Before Marriage
- As a couple how should we prepare for a financial emergency?
- Where do you see yourself financially five years from now?
- How was saving and using money modelled to you growing up?
- What is our financial plan if one of us loses our job?
- What if we both want to spend a significant amount of money on something but can’t afford both?
- Is saving for retirement important to you?
- Are you saving for retirement right now?
- Is it ok to lend a large sum of money to friends or family?
- Is it in our best interest to sign a prenuptial agreement before we get married? What are the pros and cons?
- What are your financial obligations to your ex-spouse and/or children from your previous marriages or relationships? Are they finalized or could they change in the future?
- Will you seek financial counseling if we need it?
Questions For Engaged Couples To Ask On Personal Values, Morals, Faith & Spirituality
Engaged couples have a lot to discuss with each other before tying the knot. In addition to the more practical topics like finances and wedding logistics, it’s important to spend time talking about your personal values, morals, faith and spirituality. After all, these are the foundation of your relationship and will guide you through both the good and bad times.
Here are some important questions engaged couples should ask before marriage:
- What are your core values? What do you believe in above all else?
- What are your spiritual or religious beliefs?
- How important are your religious and/or spiritual practices to you? Do you observe them daily, weekly, yearly or not at all?
- As couple do we respect any religious, spiritual or political differences between us?
- When it comes to getting married and having children what are your religious views? Would you expect our children to go through certain religious rituals? (Baptism, Bar/Bat Mitzvah, First Communion etc.)
- In your opinion, what do you believe the role of a wife is?
- In your opinion, what do you believe the role of a husband is?
- What are your thoughts on racism, sexism, and other controversial topics?
- What are your political views? Are you liberal or conservative?
- Do you have any strong opinions on political and/or social issues? Do you participate in social or political activities such as marches or protests?
- Do you think that there are some situations where it’s ok to lie to your partner? If so, what are they?
- If we have completely different political opinions, do you think it will be a problem in our relationship?
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Questions For Couples To Ask Each Other Before Marriage On Intimacy
It’s no secret that communication is the key to a happy, healthy relationship. But when it comes to talking about intimate matters, even the most communication-savvy couples can feel shy or uncomfortable.
Before you walk down the aisle, there are some important questions you should ask each other about intimacy and sex. An open, honest dialogue will help set the stage for a fulfilling emotional and physical relationship. And ensure that you’re on the same page when it comes to your expectations. Here are some good questions to discuss with your partner before marriage:
- What are your thoughts about our sex life right now? Is there anything we could improve or change?
- Do you consider yourself an affection person?
- How important is sex to you?
- What kinds of physical touch do you enjoy most from a partner?
- What intimate activity or action makes you feel closest to me?
- Are there any kinds of touch that you don’t enjoy or is off limits?
- What makes you feel the most emotionally connected to your partner in the bedroom?
- When do you most like to be physically intimate?
- When do you least like to physically intimate?
- How often do you want to be physically intimate with a partner?
- What do you imagine our sex life to look like in 5 years time?
- Relationships have their ups and downs, how will we deal with staying connected to each other when our sexual ebbs and flows don’t match up?
- What’s something you didn’t do in your previous relationships that you want to start doing in our relationship?
- What do you feel about your spouse at times saying no to having sex?
- What would you most like me to initiate in the bedroom?
- What’s the sexiest thing about me?
- Do you think that there is anything missing or that we can improve in our sexual relationship?
- When do you feel the most secure and taken care of by your partner?
- Is there anything in your past intimate relationships that I should be aware of?
- Do you think infidelity is always a deal breaker, no matter what?
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Things Couples Should Talk About Before Marriage – Relationship Conflict
One of the most important things couples should discuss before marriage is how they will handle conflict. While we all like to believe in a happily ever after that is all wine and roses. The truth is that disagreements are inevitable. So it’s important to have a plan for how you’ll deal with them when they arise. Here are a few good questions to ask your future spouse about how you’ll handle conflict:
- How do you handle relationship conflict and high-stress situations?
- How do our personalities and temperaments differ?
- How do our differences complement each other?
- Do we have any differences that cause conflict between us, either now or at some point in the future?
- What is best way for us as a married couple to deal with conflict and resolve disagreements?
- In a high stress situation, how do you usually express frustration or anger?
- Do you think that you can freely communicate with me about any subject?
- What do you consider a “normal” amount of conflict in a relationship?
- How comfortable are you with having arguments or disagreements?
- Is there ever a time where you don’t feel that you can freely communicate with me?
- What would be unacceptable to you in a disagreement?
- What influence, do you believe that each others extended families should have on our relationship?
- Do you have any friends or family who think that we shouldn’t get married? Why?
- How can I be better over-all at communicating with you?
- What are the biggest priorities in your life right now?
- Do you have any past relationship issues either with me or someone else that you need to resolve before we get married?
Deep Questions For Engaged Couples To Ask Before Marriage
Engaged couples are often so wrapped up in planning their wedding that they forget to plan for their marriage. Below are some deep questions every engaged couple should ask each other before they say “I do”:
- What are your hopes and dreams for us as a couple?
- What does a successful life-long relationship look like to you?
- What’s the best part about being a couple?
- Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing but haven’t yet? What’s prevented you from doing this?
- What’s something you want to experience together in the next year that we haven’t done yet?
- Why do you love me? When do you feel the most loved by me?
- How often do you prefer to communicate and deeply connect with your partner?
- Do you think our personalities are compatible?
- What’s your relationship like with your family?
- When you are in a relationship what do you define as cheating?
Deep Questions To Ask Your Partner Before Marriage
- What has been the greatest accomplishment of your life so far?
- Do you have any major regrets in your past? Is it too late to change it?
- How do you react if someone you care about hurts you on a deeply emotional level?
- What do you believe are the most important factors that keep a couple together for the long run?
- Were you nervous when you first kissed me?
- When did you first know that you loved me?
- What are your top 3 perfect romantic date night ideas?
- During the day what do you find yourself thinking about the most?
- Is there anything that makes you nervous about getting married?
- What is your favorite memory of us as a couple?
- What impact do you want to have on the world?
- Do you believe in true love or love at first sight?
- What do you think the greatest pleasures in your life are?
- Do you have trust issues or insecurities about our relationship?
- After we get married what do you look forward to experiencing with me?
Fun Questions For Engaged Couples
When you’re in the early stages of planning your life together, it’s easy to get caught up in the details and forget about enjoying yourselves along the way. While yes, it’s vital to answer all of those big serious and deep questions, it’s also important to have some fun. After all a couple that laughs together stays together. Get the good times started by asking each other these funny couples questions below:
- What’s the most embarrassing thing your parents have found on your phone?
- What was one of the silliest things that you misunderstood as a kid?
- What fictional place would you like to visit?
- You get to relive one decade from history. Which do you choose?
- Would you rather give up your smartphone for a month or your sense of taste?
- Do you have a silly accomplishment that you’re secretly proud of?
- What’s the weirdest thing you have a strong sentimental attachment to?
- What’s a weird habit you have that know one ones about?
- If you could be in the Guinness Book of World Records for one thing, what would you choose?
- If you had to keep our house decorated for any holiday year-round, which would you pick?
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Why Should Couples Ask Questions Before Getting Married?
Engaged couples should ask each other important questions before getting married because it helps to set expectations and builds a strong foundation. Which can guard against any potential issues that may arise in the marriage.
In my experience as dating and relationship coach, it’s the couples that have open communication and honest conversations that have the happiest relationships.
If you ask the right questions before marriage you can start it off on the strongest foundation possible.
Which means that even though it may feel uncomfortable for some people. It’s important to have intimate and deep conversations with your partner. Especially around challenging topics such as finances, family, future dreams and goals. As well as, communication and conflict resolution.
Connecting Questions For Engaged Couples
Your engagement should be a time for you and your partner to keep growing as a couple. It’s important to have fun, and it’s also equally if not more important, to make sure that you’re on the same page as each other before you walk down the aisle.
You can do this by taking the time to ask each other these questions for engaged couples. Keep this list handy to make sure that you’re discussing everything you need to know before you get hitched.
That way your future marriage will be as happy and successful as possible.
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